Archive for May, 2014

I have actually given this some serious thought so bare with me. I listen to Christian music constantly in the car, I go to church nearly every week, and I find myself constantly talking about my faith to others, yet I am not a Jesus freak. I don’t mean that in a negative term. Jesus freak means that you live all out in praising God and Jesus constantly without a second doubt about your religion and are always thanking God for all the good and bad that you come across every day in your life. Also, I think that one of the “no duh” parts of being a Jesus Freak is to be reading the Bible constantly. So what gives?

Well when it comes to reading the Bible, I actually love reading all the teachings and life lessons because there are literally hundreds of things to learn. My problem is continuality; I get lazy. I will go multiple days reading and praying and then find myself feeling lazy and skip a day. That day turns into two days, which turns into three and so on. I have tried constant times to pick it up and go with it only to find myself lost. I tried a planned reading schedule created by the Billy Graham Foundation, the greatest leader in evangelism, only to get caught up with life and fall behind yet again.

As for not being a Jesus Freak, I feel like I can’t fit that sort of classification because I’m not like one of those  “role model Christians” who live out their life with constant praising and are always at every church event or post nothing on social networking sites other than religiously based things. This is stupid to say, but I feel like I “sin too much” to even come close with Jesus Freaks. While there is no limit to separate different classifications of sinners, it’s like I’m in the shadows while they bask in the limelight. Then there’s the fact that I have a habit of questioning everything which can be a hypocritical thing to do being a Christian. I grew up to learn to question almost everything in order to find out the answer for yourself, but some of the biggest things not to criticize are the existence of God, how God was/if he was created, biological evolution, humans vs. dinosaurs, and how one supreme being could create all the microscopic complexities that exist within a human body AND THEN create an even more complex companion (women). I think however the one thing that most perplexes me is the idea of free will. It’s like the one thing scientists and Christians agree on, because of free will, humans are the root of the destruction of the planet. Anyways, I can list multiple reasons why I don’t see myself as a Jesus Freak only for someone to poke a hole in my logic, but in simplest terms, it the fact that I don’t find myself on the same level.

I’m also not trying to get someone else to re-evaluate their belief and where they stand on Christianity, this idea has just been in my head for a bit and I felt like I finally could vent it out. Pardon the Bible pun, but I guess you can say there’s a time for everything.


There’s always those times where we feel like like is pointless and any chance at succeeding at a certain task seems utterly hopeless. Well while I was feeling like that yesterday after realizing that certain aspects at work just weren’t going to go the way I had hoped. Now today, I can tell that while it won’t go the way I had hoped, I can at least be happy in knowing that I still have time to change things even slightly for the better. The only hope is to survive the summer in as best of shape as I can before deciding where to go from there. Being tired from lack of sleep and tired of how I constantly feel both need to change. The hard part is forcing myself to make that change or else nothing will be better. Talking the talk is easy, but when it comes to putting the gears in motion, you just have to dig down deep and push on.
Using a lame quote like “its always darkest before the dawn” doesn’t matter until things change. I constantly say stuff like that, but little do things actually change. People who refuse to change die off and are forgotten. Those who do change, are remembered.

Drop It Slowly

Posted: May 13, 2014 in Uncategorized

Drop the blade slowly,
Until my life ends so coldly,
Let me hear the sound of freedom
As my reign collapses on my kingdom.
Watch my people grasp for power
As one comes to tower
Only to fall and then coward.

Show me the ones who still adore me,
Let them mourn for me slowly
So they retell my life story
And how they ended it so sorely.
Now they chant the call
To see that swift, sharp blade fall
Rise above it all to see
A future without a king
As they watch my head go tumbling.


So Hunter Hayes’s new album, Storyline, has finally been released and it is awesome. As it seems to be a pattern in his music, it is ninety percent a combination of love and sad songs. Some people wonder why I even listen to his songs although almost all of them are targeted towards girls. While this does make listening to some of the songs somewhat awkward, I listen to them because they are creative, catchy, and are really easy to relate to from his point of view. When it comes to the song “Still Fallin”, I have been in this situation probably twice and both times it has moved me in ways that are hard to explain.

Also, go look up his less mainstream album, Songs About Nothing, it is really catchy and more upbeat. It also shows a jazzier side mixed with a stronger Southern/Cajun accent.