Archive for April, 2014

Tonight had to be one of the best I have had in a while. I finally got to see my section again who I consider my second family. From the hundred-plus degrees August camps to the chilly playoff games, I have gone through it thick and thin with those guys and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I completely forgot how it felt to be around each other and now I miss it constantly. Seeing them now, with both seniors graduating and following their dreams into DCI reminds me of the bond band brought us and how we stood by each other through the up and downs. Seeing how I was, I see that I was the happiest back then although I always felt miserable. I felt miserable because I held on to the past, but now that the past does not effect me like it used to, I get to relax and realize how much I enjoyed high school solely because of the family I had in the euphonium section. I know I will find that type of bond again later in life, but not in the same way. These guys are truly my brothers, not of blood, but of band. And I wouldn’t trade anything for it. FTS & APS!

Late to the Party

Posted: April 27, 2014 in Uncategorized
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So I finally have a car…and it is amazing. After getting my license in either my junior or senior year (it was forever ago), riding my bike everywhere I absolutely had to go to, and breaking leg, I can finally drive everywhere. It is a 2005 Pontiac Sunfire and while it is old school in the sense that you have to manually roll up the windows and lock the doors, it luckily is not one of those piece of crap cars that apparently everyone gets as their first cars. I hate it when people assume your first car is crappy and they can’t just be happy that you don’t have to worry about getting hit by on coming traffic while riding on the shoulder of the road just to get to college. The only downside to having a car is that most of the time I’m not in my car, I want to be driving somewhere. Then the environmentalist part of me becomes paranoid about just how much fossil fuels I burn and all the CO2 emissions I produce. Someday I will by an electric car…
Anyways, I have yet to go on the freeway and almost not looking forward to that day. It feels like forever since I’ve been on one though. At least now I can go hang out with family and friends or go and get some quick pick-me-up drink from MCD or somewhere whenever I feel like it without having to be paranoid with it taking longer than 15 minutes to bike somewhere and to think about traffic. I really don’t see why my dad waited so long to take getting a car seriously, I mean its great not to show up to school or work all tired and sweaty. I finally get to listen to the radio switch between the A/C and heater whenever I feel like it just because I can. Not to mention, I don’t have to depend on other people for rides places, which is awesome. It is oddly peaceful to be alone in the car with just the radio. Now if only I can find a way to actually program those radio stations…

A Dead Man’s March

Posted: April 25, 2014 in Uncategorized
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Push me down, break my knees,
Drag me around until I beg and plead.
Tie me up, set me free,
Stab me in the heart so you may see
My soul’s on fire, my heart on ice,
My mind is squeezed in your vice.
What I know now, what I knew then,
What is now is better than its ever been.
Cast your lots, cast your crowns,
Cast your sins up on that mound.
Your future is gold, your past is sand,
Your present is lost out in neverland.
Look up at Him, look down on me,
Look around at the barren sea.
Life’s a ball, life’s a line on the sand,
Life’s what you miss at the end.
All that grand, all that grind,
All that sand in the glass of time.
The time has come, the time has end,
The time has killed us all while on the mend.

At a time when I should be sleeping, this idea has finally forced me awake enough to let it out.

So to some people I might seem like I don’t care to go any further (or backwards) in friendships and the sorts, that’s not true. While I am kinda stagnant in the direction, I have my personal reasons:

1. I don’t feel like I’m mature enough to be completely serious right now.
2. To go further requires certain resources I don’t have.
3. I’m enjoying the best part of any relationship anyone can have with people and that’s the friendships.
4. I don’t feel like I have the freedom I need to escape the boundaries I currently find myself trapped in.

The one thing that I never learned in high school was that you can’t dive into anything, unless it’s the deep end of a pool  (I know, shallow joke). But in all seriousness, I wouldn’t trade this moment for the world because I’m not stressing about what to say or how to approach certain situations that I might find uncomfortable. Usually the reason why I feel uncomfortable is because I’m not at the level of maturity or self-confidence that I should be. I’m actually so comfortable with life right now that I can see my future with some people, of course some even more long-term. But anyways, if I pressured myself again to rush back into what has already proved to be a failure, why commit? This is the time to be ourselves and relax before we fully commit to the adult 9-5 life-like our parents.

And because I just watched a documentary about Journey, I shall lamely end the post with this: “Don’t stop believin’, hold on to that feeling”