The Un-Nerdy History Nerd

Posted: October 30, 2013 in Uncategorized

Ever since middle school (as far as I can remember), people have labeled me as a history nerd. I do find history fascinating, read books related to history, and enjoy any history class I take, but the thing is, I don’t feel like a nerd.

Apparently I act, dress, and look just how a nerd is suppose to be like. I’m socially awkward, I have a horrendous sense of fashion, and my persona gives off the vibe of a nerd. Then why do I not feel like an actual nerd?? I study endlessly about the American Revolution and the creation of the Constitution, but the more I study, the less of a nerd I feel. If I’m tested over the subject, then I’ll usually get a quarter of the questions wrong. That is not what a nerd does, a nerd gets everything right, all the time. So I dislike to agree to people who call me a nerd because I don’t feel like one. When put under pressure, I freeze up and shoot in the dark. This is especially humiliating when it is a group assignment and people depend on me to know every aspect on the topic simply because “I am the history nerd and I know everything about it”. I’m not God, I’m not perfect, I cannot be expected to answer every question perfect every time. There is nothing more humiliating than when your flaws are pointed out in public, especially in front of your own friends. So while I maybe the dictionary definition of a nerd, I don’t feel like one. So what is someone suppose to do in that situation? I’ll never be the ideal nerd everyone thinks I am. That is the fact. I will still do what I like to do, which is to learn more, but I still won’t feel like the nerd I’m suppose to be.

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