More of a Heart-Breaker, Less Dream Maker

Posted: August 12, 2013 in Uncategorized

I love it how I always hear how I can cheer people up and make their lives happier, especially when people say I inspire them to do something. Especially since that’s not who I am on the inside.
 
If you think I’m someone who always cares about how to bring the best out of someone or a situation, strive to make sure people have a good day, or knows how to always say the right thing to make you smile, chances are you don’t really know me.
 
While it is true I can make people occasionally happy, odds are that I’m plotting someone’s emotional/psychological demise for entertainment. I have a part of a good heart, but being happy bores me. I can’t stand to see people completely happy in life because that means you’re choosing to ignore the negatives of life. It could be just that I dislike being happy because it’s so temporary. If someone has a problem, they become interesting because there is something to learn, but as soon as they are happy and content with life, they become of less importance.
 
Call me the Grinch, but don’t expect me to be a green and awkwardly tall fur ball.
 
Some people aren’t worth helping though. How I justify this is that I look at their problems and assess if its really that interesting or worth helping on. If its a problem with a person or something that is obscuring the path to a decision, then I will help. If its a pity fest, then I can try to comfort, but odds are I won’t really help and may make things worst. That is why I usually try to stay out of peoples’ issues. Now if you become emotional and somehow get my emotions in the works, I will be heartless and really not care.
 
You can’t expect someone whose been raised to be anti-social to be a socialite and to love people, I just don’t work like that. I have a tendency to not want to be around people, but rather a good book because with books, you can go to different worlds and go on adventures. Whereas with people, you have to make the plans and how to make the day memorable/interesting. Also, books can’t you disappoint you as much as people can. Where books inspire to create dreams, people crush them. I find that understandable because I tend to crush dreams when I feel heartless. When you crush dreams, you break hearts. I don’t always try to break hearts, but that is inevitable, I will break everyone’s in one way or another. Just know that when the time comes, don’t take it hard, it was going to happen sooner or later. I have learned that I am a better person the more hearts I break because I learn more from those unlike those who I end friendships with peacefully. Hate me or love me, either way, you’re doomed. You could be the nicest person in the world and I will still end up finding a way to break you. Consider it merciless or an exaggerated warning, but something of the like will happen. I guarantee it.
 
Happiness is temporary, sadness lasts forever…
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